Love.
Its something we all want and seek and that most of us are lucky to find, but the question is:
Is it true love?
First of all let me say this, i do believe in true love. I do think that it is possible to meet this one person and fall head over heels in love with them and that it can last until you die. I also believe that this can happen to any and everyone in the world, that there really is that “one” person for us out there.
Now with that said let me get down to business, do i believe it will happen to me or to most of us? The answer as odd as it might seem, is NO. I do not believe that we can experience it. I believe that all of us experience this euphoria of a first love and new love. The feeling that just hits you like an oncoming train and you just feel its right and want to go with it, but i don’t believe that most experience what we call true love in that sense, meet mister (or miss) right at first chance and everything just works out from there on.
The reason for it is actually rather simple. Think about it, in the world today, there is almost 7 billion people on the planet. If we are lucky, we might have relations with about 50-100 on a regular basis and in an extended friendship have maybe twice that.
Now, what are the odds of one of those being the right one for us? I don’t know the exact number, but the odds would be microscopical. You would be able to see it, but just barely.
However, even if we don’t meet the perfect match for us, does that mean that everything is lost? Does this mean that we effectively are doomed to live a life in solitude and loneliness?
I don’t think so. I just have to look at my parents and see this.
They fight all the time about the silliest things and while this is tiresome, its still worth it. Think about it, they fight to resolve their problems. They fight so that they can have the issue done with and move on to a happier place. So even if they aren’t a perfect match they can get it to work.
Another odd occurence i can tell about is just a story i have been told about, but supposedly its true and happened in a town not far from where i live.
Its about this guy who just happened to be walking around town asking ladies if they would marry him. Why he did this i don’t remember, it might have been a bet or something else, maybe an inquiry or poll he was doing on his own and of course most of the answers he got no and he wasn’t expecting anything else either. He never expected that anyone would say yes to something like that, but after a while of asking, still going strong he ran into this one lady whom dead serious said yes to him. He was of course taken back by this but both being the characters they where, where determined to stick to it and not chicken out. Last we heard of this story is that they live a very happy life together and had kids. They didn’t know each other much but that was the interesting thing, they had so much to learn about each other that they didn’t have a dull moment in their marriage. They too had their share of arguments, but they managed to get it to work very well.
Now this isn’t just about numbers and odds of meeting “the one” or how anyone really can make things work if they are just willing to try, its also about what leads up to that, namely dating.
Of course with all these people, dating services are a thriving business, cause everyone wants to meet someone and so to extend their chances they are willing to pay someone to match them with a larger group of people they might be similar too (although that doesn’t have to make it a perfect match, as seen with my parents again whom are like yin and yang)
Of course for those that want to do it on their own, only using what they know and maybe what they read there is always the old fashioned way, but does those books really help?
I hear all the time about books written by doctors in psychology and ph.d’s in love and all that stuff, and all they have in common is that they agree to disagree. They write different theories they believe in and that they have statistically proven that is plausible through custom made statistics (what other kind is there today)
I have read a few of these and so far i haven’t believed in one. I have found a few common elements i could relate too, but 98% of all the material in those books have been bogus, not worth reading. How i can say so? Well i haven’t tried it all, but i do have a logical sense and a good one at that to get when someone says that “this and that” works because i have a statistical evidence that it is so then it is likely to sell more than if someone says “i think that this and that works because this and that did this and that”
Basically its all about selling the most money with the least amount of effort. Some of these professors don’t even have a real degree.
So what is it that we can do about it if nothing works?
Well how about just trying to get to know yourself first and see what you can change that you will like better and that you think others might like to see in you when they first meet you.
of course there is also the basic stuff like keeping the conversation going and trying to be as interesting as possible while being the most interested in the person you are talking to.
But at the same time, don’t forget to play a little hard to get. And the emphasis is on “little” here. You don’t want to seem desperate but neither to seem uninterested but this again is all about getting out there and get shot down time after time learning where the balance is with the “target” a bit faster each time.
I am not much of a ladies man, i suck at talking with them even though i know i have TONS of stuff to talk about. With all the stuff going around on this relatively little planet of ours its impressive what i find myself knowing a little about here and there. My friends don’t get where i get it even though i tell them time and time again (and again)
But perhaps my problem is the hard to get thing. I suck at that but i am getting better. I just have to remember that one of my best friends who IS a ladies man used to be where i am at now at some point. All that separates us is what we did different. I just have to do the same as he did in my own way just as you have to do it your way.
There is a secret to it, and its that there is no secret, its all just to make it seem that much more interesting to get into, but it works.
So if you are single, get out there, cause if you are a nice ckick in my neighborhood i would love to meet you 
